A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence is unexpected and often very humorous. They make great one-liners.
I received these examples of paraprodokians in my e-mail today. I’d love to give credit to the originator but no credits were given. Still, I had to share it. Check out the websites below for more great examples
• If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they’d eventually find me attractive.
• I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they’re flashing behind you.
• Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.
• Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
• I’m great at multi-tasking–I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
• If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
• Take my advice — I’m not using it.
• My spouse and I were happy for twenty years; then we met.
• Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they’re at home when you wish they were.
• Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
• Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
• Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.
• He who laughs last thinks slowest.
• Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly?
• I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.
• Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep
• If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?
Find more here: Monty Perlin’s World – 182 Paraprosdokians