A Few Puns Both Readers & Writers Can Laugh At

CC-Final-Small-I love words so when a friend of mine sent me these funny puns today and I thought you might get a kick out of them. My thanks to Sally Einck over in Arizona.

No offense is intended to any group here. It’s all about the fun of how words are employed. Enjoy.

 

The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.

I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island, but it
turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

She was only a whisky-maker, but he loved her still.

A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it
was a weapon of math disruption.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall.  The
police are looking into it.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the
other: ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.

The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium
at large.

The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a
seasoned veteran.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it’s your vote that counts.  In feudalism it’s your count
that votes.

When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you’d be in Seine .

A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an airplane. The stewardess
looks at him and says, ‘I’m sorry, only one carrion allowed per passenger.’

Two fish swim into a concrete wall.  One turns to the other and says,
‘Dam!’

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in
the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak
and heat it too.

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, ‘I’ve lost my electron.’ The other
says, ‘Are you sure?’ The first replies, ‘Yes, I’m positive.’

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a  root-canal?  His  goal: transcend dental medication.

There aren’t too many puns about writers but here’s a few links of puns and jokes you might enjoy.

From John Kremer: Puns about Writers and Writing
From Hug An AuthorJokes about Writing

How about you? Got any puns specifically about writers you’d like to make up or share? I’d love to compile another one of my famous lists with them.

 

This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to A Few Puns Both Readers & Writers Can Laugh At

  1. Ella Quinn says:

    Those are a hoot!! Sharing!

  2. sharla says:

    Thanks Ella. Now I’m hoping to find lots about writers and writing too — just for fun.

  3. Ashley York says:

    Very funny. My husband is going to love these. Thanks.

  4. Eve Paludan says:

    Hilarious. Tweeted this!

  5. Barbara Bettis says:

    Love puns. These are delightful! Thanks for the chuckles.

  6. These were hilarious!! Thanks

  7. sharla says:

    Hi Ruth. Thanks for stopping by and I’m glad you enjoyed the puns.

  8. Missed this yesterday–it’s wonderful! Can hardly wait for husband to come home so I can share…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Time limit is exhausted. Please reload CAPTCHA.